Braided, Friendship, Grief, Infertility, Pregnancy Loss Grief

Seek Jesus When You Are Grieving

So, we are in November! WOW! What a beautiful month this is. I love the feel of fall and the month of remembering to be THANKFUL!

October has come and gone and what a month it was! I know like many of you, life has been such a crazy rollercoaster. It really has been a year of so many ups and downs. Last month was also a month declared as “Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month”. Normally I speak on this month, and share my story of pain and healing. I think this was the first time I did not mention it since my husband and I first experienced pregnancy loss back in January of 2016. I had a couple of women ask why I had not addressed it since I normally do, and I would like to take a moment to answer that question because I take the heart of the women who go through this tragedy seriously. I never want any woman to think I have forgotten about it, because I haven’t. Don’t forget, I have also experienced the excruciating pain of miscarriage and loss.

The truth is, I am on a journey of trying to discover how I even feel any more about the “National Awareness” days. Here’s why…… we live in a world where somehow diseases and health conditions have become our identity. I’m guilty of it myself. For the longest time, I wore PCOS as my badge of honor. I #ed all day “PCOS Awareness”, “PCOS Survivor”, “PCOS Warrior”….and so on and so on, you get the idea. I gave notice to PCOS Awareness Month and thought I was helping women with this condition. I realized over the last year, that I was simply shining a light on the disease and the condition at hand, rather than shining a light on our healer, the ONE who can give us hope and new mercies every morning. When I started speaking on these important topics, my heart was to point women back to GOD and not their pain.

Don’t get me wrong, do I think it’s great that people are starting to be more aware of the pain women go through when they experience pregnancy loss and/or infertility. Absolutely. It’s SO important for people to have compassion for other people, but even that is done when people truly are seeking God. I’m not sure an awareness day is going to force people to love and care for others. Jesus does that. Jesus guides us all to love one another. Scripture tells us that we are to celebrate when our brothers and sisters are celebrating AND GRIEVE when they are grieving. Even, the awareness in itself can and only will be done genuinely when or if the other person wants and chooses to grieve with you. There is no social media post that will force that.

Again, I’m on a journey of trying to decide how I feel about these awareness days and months. I’m not saying they are bad. I’m just saying, I’m not sure that they are something I want to point you or others to (at this time). God might change my heart on this topic and next year I might find myself doing as I normally do….. and shine a light on Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. I have no idea. I DO know when we are going through pregnancy loss grief or infertility, sometimes hearing stories helps. Or sometimes they hurt more. It’s truly a matter of where somebody is on their journey of healing.

At the end of the day, my heart is to point women to JESUS and not their pain. We can’t live in the pain. We must live in the HOPE!!! God is a good God and shining awareness on our diseases or conditions will never replace the goodness and love He has in our lives. The only thing we really need to be aware of is that He loves us and is with us. He is the only one we will ever really need to get us through the grief of losing a baby. And I say that from experience. I say that from looking around my first four pregnancy losses and not having a friend in sight… media posts didn’t bring friends in to rally around me as I grieved. It wasn’t until I started seeking first the Kingdom of God and surrounding myself around women of God, that I found the support and love my heart needed to get through life’s ups and downs. GOD did that, not social media…..and certainly not an awareness month.

I love each and every one of you and I pray you receive God’s love as you journey through the unknown of pregnancy loss and/or infertility. Your grief is welcome with the ONE TRUE GOD, your one true Heavenly Father, Jehovah.