Braided, Friendship, Grief, Infertility, Pregnancy Loss Grief

Seek Jesus When You Are Grieving

So, we are in November! WOW! What a beautiful month this is. I love the feel of fall and the month of remembering to be THANKFUL!

October has come and gone and what a month it was! I know like many of you, life has been such a crazy rollercoaster. It really has been a year of so many ups and downs. Last month was also a month declared as “Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month”. Normally I speak on this month, and share my story of pain and healing. I think this was the first time I did not mention it since my husband and I first experienced pregnancy loss back in January of 2016. I had a couple of women ask why I had not addressed it since I normally do, and I would like to take a moment to answer that question because I take the heart of the women who go through this tragedy seriously. I never want any woman to think I have forgotten about it, because I haven’t. Don’t forget, I have also experienced the excruciating pain of miscarriage and loss.

The truth is, I am on a journey of trying to discover how I even feel any more about the “National Awareness” days. Here’s why…… we live in a world where somehow diseases and health conditions have become our identity. I’m guilty of it myself. For the longest time, I wore PCOS as my badge of honor. I #ed all day “PCOS Awareness”, “PCOS Survivor”, “PCOS Warrior”….and so on and so on, you get the idea. I gave notice to PCOS Awareness Month and thought I was helping women with this condition. I realized over the last year, that I was simply shining a light on the disease and the condition at hand, rather than shining a light on our healer, the ONE who can give us hope and new mercies every morning. When I started speaking on these important topics, my heart was to point women back to GOD and not their pain.

Don’t get me wrong, do I think it’s great that people are starting to be more aware of the pain women go through when they experience pregnancy loss and/or infertility. Absolutely. It’s SO important for people to have compassion for other people, but even that is done when people truly are seeking God. I’m not sure an awareness day is going to force people to love and care for others. Jesus does that. Jesus guides us all to love one another. Scripture tells us that we are to celebrate when our brothers and sisters are celebrating AND GRIEVE when they are grieving. Even, the awareness in itself can and only will be done genuinely when or if the other person wants and chooses to grieve with you. There is no social media post that will force that.

Again, I’m on a journey of trying to decide how I feel about these awareness days and months. I’m not saying they are bad. I’m just saying, I’m not sure that they are something I want to point you or others to (at this time). God might change my heart on this topic and next year I might find myself doing as I normally do….. and shine a light on Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. I have no idea. I DO know when we are going through pregnancy loss grief or infertility, sometimes hearing stories helps. Or sometimes they hurt more. It’s truly a matter of where somebody is on their journey of healing.

At the end of the day, my heart is to point women to JESUS and not their pain. We can’t live in the pain. We must live in the HOPE!!! God is a good God and shining awareness on our diseases or conditions will never replace the goodness and love He has in our lives. The only thing we really need to be aware of is that He loves us and is with us. He is the only one we will ever really need to get us through the grief of losing a baby. And I say that from experience. I say that from looking around my first four pregnancy losses and not having a friend in sight…..social media posts didn’t bring friends in to rally around me as I grieved. It wasn’t until I started seeking first the Kingdom of God and surrounding myself around women of God, that I found the support and love my heart needed to get through life’s ups and downs. GOD did that, not social media…..and certainly not an awareness month.

I love each and every one of you and I pray you receive God’s love as you journey through the unknown of pregnancy loss and/or infertility. Your grief is welcome with the ONE TRUE GOD, your one true Heavenly Father, Jehovah.

xoxo,

Crystal

Addis Adventures, Faith, Family, Friendship, Infertility, Marriage, Pregnancy Loss

Lessons That Are Coming Into the Next Decade with Me

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The first blog of a new decade! Wow! Isn’t that amazing to think about!? I have Holly cuddled up on one side, Mistletoe cuddled up on the other, hubby is still sleeping in bed and I am sitting here with coffee in hand thanking God for His love and mercy over the last year.

2019 brought us ups, downs and God’s hand all around! So many lessons that if you have time to read, I would love for you to read and tell me what your biggest lesson of 2019 was!

View Post– We moved back home from the Pacific Northwest to Texas. I learned from this move that transition is difficult and that we have to show ourselves grace.
– We lost three babies in 2019: two back to back miscarriages and an adoption that sadly ended in abortion (he was ours the very moment we were asked to adopt him and he instantly became an Addis baby). This particular loss has been a hard one to understand, but I have learned to surrender it to God and accept that we won’t always understand things of this world. I have also learned that these little lives need voices and people to speak up for them when it comes to abortion. All babies are a blessing and have a purpose, we must protect all of God’s children. A pregnancy is a life.
– I also learned that women who have abortions need grace, love and forgiveness. We don’t know why people make the decisions they make, but I DO know that God loves them and will meet her where she is. There will always be love and grace at the cross!
– Darin and I have experienced so much life together that it has bonded us in a way that is completely unexplainable. I have learned that God will gift us with immaculate love and peace when we surrender and focus on Him! Through the ashes and through the pain, He has truly done a good work in our union because we surrender to Him daily.
– I have learned that being a good wife and having a good marriage requires dying to self daily. When both parties surrender to Him and put the other first, amazing things happen in a marriage. I am thankful that Darin and I both get this. (Our marriage isn’t perfect – but man I am thankful for what we have and I am SO thankful for my man!!)
– I have learned that the definition of family is acceptance and loving one another and all the differences that come with another human being. Family should be the people we can just be ourselves with and know there will always be welcoming love.
– I have learned that how we treat family matters – honor should be given to family members, family are the ones who will be there when you need them the most.
– I have learned that laughter is beautiful – I want to do more of it in the next decade.
– I have learned that time is a delicacy and we must be wise with it.
– I have learned that friendship is sacred and should not be taken lightly nor should the word be tossed around. It takes a lot to be a good friend to somebody, the word in itself does not define it. The love, the patience, the concern, the empathy, the laughter, the growing together, the praying for one another and WITH one another, the sisterhood- those things define friendship. I am thankful to have learned this on a deeper level over the last year. I hope to always grow into being a better friend to others.
– I have learned that we must say what we mean and mean what we say. Let your yes be yes and your no be no – to stop being luke warm.

Most of all, I have learned that God is bigger than it ALL, and His love is good!

Happy New Year everybody! Let 2020 be the best year yet! 🙌🏼🎉