Braided, Friendship, Grief, Infertility, Pregnancy Loss Grief

Seek Jesus When You Are Grieving

So, we are in November! WOW! What a beautiful month this is. I love the feel of fall and the month of remembering to be THANKFUL!

October has come and gone and what a month it was! I know like many of you, life has been such a crazy rollercoaster. It really has been a year of so many ups and downs. Last month was also a month declared as “Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month”. Normally I speak on this month, and share my story of pain and healing. I think this was the first time I did not mention it since my husband and I first experienced pregnancy loss back in January of 2016. I had a couple of women ask why I had not addressed it since I normally do, and I would like to take a moment to answer that question because I take the heart of the women who go through this tragedy seriously. I never want any woman to think I have forgotten about it, because I haven’t. Don’t forget, I have also experienced the excruciating pain of miscarriage and loss.

The truth is, I am on a journey of trying to discover how I even feel any more about the “National Awareness” days. Here’s why…… we live in a world where somehow diseases and health conditions have become our identity. I’m guilty of it myself. For the longest time, I wore PCOS as my badge of honor. I #ed all day “PCOS Awareness”, “PCOS Survivor”, “PCOS Warrior”….and so on and so on, you get the idea. I gave notice to PCOS Awareness Month and thought I was helping women with this condition. I realized over the last year, that I was simply shining a light on the disease and the condition at hand, rather than shining a light on our healer, the ONE who can give us hope and new mercies every morning. When I started speaking on these important topics, my heart was to point women back to GOD and not their pain.

Don’t get me wrong, do I think it’s great that people are starting to be more aware of the pain women go through when they experience pregnancy loss and/or infertility. Absolutely. It’s SO important for people to have compassion for other people, but even that is done when people truly are seeking God. I’m not sure an awareness day is going to force people to love and care for others. Jesus does that. Jesus guides us all to love one another. Scripture tells us that we are to celebrate when our brothers and sisters are celebrating AND GRIEVE when they are grieving. Even, the awareness in itself can and only will be done genuinely when or if the other person wants and chooses to grieve with you. There is no social media post that will force that.

Again, I’m on a journey of trying to decide how I feel about these awareness days and months. I’m not saying they are bad. I’m just saying, I’m not sure that they are something I want to point you or others to (at this time). God might change my heart on this topic and next year I might find myself doing as I normally do….. and shine a light on Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. I have no idea. I DO know when we are going through pregnancy loss grief or infertility, sometimes hearing stories helps. Or sometimes they hurt more. It’s truly a matter of where somebody is on their journey of healing.

At the end of the day, my heart is to point women to JESUS and not their pain. We can’t live in the pain. We must live in the HOPE!!! God is a good God and shining awareness on our diseases or conditions will never replace the goodness and love He has in our lives. The only thing we really need to be aware of is that He loves us and is with us. He is the only one we will ever really need to get us through the grief of losing a baby. And I say that from experience. I say that from looking around my first four pregnancy losses and not having a friend in sight… media posts didn’t bring friends in to rally around me as I grieved. It wasn’t until I started seeking first the Kingdom of God and surrounding myself around women of God, that I found the support and love my heart needed to get through life’s ups and downs. GOD did that, not social media…..and certainly not an awareness month.

I love each and every one of you and I pray you receive God’s love as you journey through the unknown of pregnancy loss and/or infertility. Your grief is welcome with the ONE TRUE GOD, your one true Heavenly Father, Jehovah.



Addis Adventures, Faith, Family, Grief, Holly Tacos, Mistletoe Ferdenand, Mistletoe Hymn

Bouncing Back From a Grieving Season

What a year this has been for so many of us. The pandemic hit what seemed LIKE IMMEDIATELY after the new year started, and we have all been left in a perpetual state of uncertainty ever since. Although this year has been filled with so much sickness and loss, it hasn’t all been bad for the Addis Clan.

When the pandemic hit, I was asked to guest teach some of my favorite kiddos on this earth! That was a lot of fun! We talked about the Proverbs of the day and their responses to scripture blew me away – they are wise above their years that’s for sure! Love these kiddos so much!

Darin and I moved in to our new place and THAT has been a blast! We love our new humble abode and have truly enjoyed it so far!

I’ll get pictures of the new place at some point haha…..

Our sweet cousin nephew graduated from high school! What a blast his celebration was. We had spent months quarantined from one another, that it was nice to gather and celebrate with family!

AND Mistletoe and Holly had pups!!! Oh, what a season that was!! She gave birth to ten sweet puppies, sadly one of them did not make it. We named her Summer and buried her under a tree in our backyard. Sweet Summer broke our hearts when she didn’t make it. Seven of these sweet guys went to AMAZING homes and I’m so thankful that I hear from the new owners often. Yes, two of them stayed with us and it has been SO MUCH fun watching Mistletoe and Holly have a little sweet family. It really has been fascinating! BUT WHAT DID WE GET OURSELVES INTO!?!? FOUR giant dogs now! UGH, Lord help us! And NO MORE DOGS…….. I still want a CAT!

Last but not least, we FINALLY officially launched Egret.Work! If you are a mama or a woman wanting to work from home, you have got to check us out!

So, as you can see, God has been SO amazing during this crazy season. I’ve been on a journey of grieving my dad and praying for our country. Even though so much has seemed heavy this year, God has BEEN SO GOOD…….But that is who He is. Is it not? He’s SO full of love and grace, even in our darkest of seasons! And this season, this year……hasn’t been the brightest of years. BUT… His infinite goodness, He somehow always seems to make it feel like it could possibly be one of the best years yet. I honestly can’t get over this about Him. How He makes everyday new. How He overwhelms us with NEW mercies every single morning! How His love shines through the cloudiest of days.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles.” Psalm 34:17

Psalm 34:17 says it all y’all! He delivers us. He meets us where we are and brings HIS Heaven onto our earth! Every day, I thank Him for the beauty He bestows upon me every single day. This year hit hard for so many. If you are reading this and you feel alone and wonder if God sees you……. please do know, the He hears you, but not only does He HEAR you….but He DELIVERS you.

I feel like I’m finally stepping out of the grieving season. My heart still hurts. I’m sure I’ll still have days where the loss of my dad hits me like a ton of bricks. Just like I still have days where the losses of our sweet babies we miscarried hits me into next week. But, the grief…..the heavy heavy grief isn’t no where near as bad. I now am able to wake up and embrace the new mercies instead of laying in bed spending moments digging deep inside trying to find those new mercies I knew God gifted me with that day. They were always there, just buried deep deep down inside the broken pieces of my heart. Grief does that, right? It tries to steal your joy, your peace, your new mercies…… just know, that’s not God. God is the one next to you reminding you of love, of His grace, His blessings. That FIGHT that is still in you fighting to get through the day, even with that heaviness weighing on you so heavily, that’s GOD fighting FOR YOU and WITH YOU!

Grief doesn’t have a calendar. You can’t schedule it. You can’t pencil it in to your day. Sometimes it comes out of no where and knocks you off your feet. It’s okay. Go with it. Feel it. Embrace it. MOST IMPORTANTLY, invite God into it with you! Don’t go through grief alone! Know that it doesn’t last forever, and that God wants to see you through to the other side. Do at least one thing normal every day, until you are finally living life again. God knows your heart. He knows your pain. He also knows YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS! I promise you! HE promises you!

Grief doesn’t have a calendar. You can’t schedule it. You can’t pencil it in to your day. Sometimes it comes out of no where and hits you like a ton of bricks.

Spend time with God today. Trust Him with your broken heart. Whether it’s the loss of a parent, or the loss of a child or pregnancy, or the loss of a relationship or a job. Grief finds us all at some point in our lives. Nobody is exempt from it. BUT God will meet you right where you are with all of your sorrow. He won’t let you go through it alone!

I’m praying for you! Don’t hesitate to reach out if you would like me to pray with you!