Braided, Friendship, Grief, Infertility, Pregnancy Loss Grief

Seek Jesus When You Are Grieving

So, we are in November! WOW! What a beautiful month this is. I love the feel of fall and the month of remembering to be THANKFUL!

October has come and gone and what a month it was! I know like many of you, life has been such a crazy rollercoaster. It really has been a year of so many ups and downs. Last month was also a month declared as “Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month”. Normally I speak on this month, and share my story of pain and healing. I think this was the first time I did not mention it since my husband and I first experienced pregnancy loss back in January of 2016. I had a couple of women ask why I had not addressed it since I normally do, and I would like to take a moment to answer that question because I take the heart of the women who go through this tragedy seriously. I never want any woman to think I have forgotten about it, because I haven’t. Don’t forget, I have also experienced the excruciating pain of miscarriage and loss.

The truth is, I am on a journey of trying to discover how I even feel any more about the “National Awareness” days. Here’s why…… we live in a world where somehow diseases and health conditions have become our identity. I’m guilty of it myself. For the longest time, I wore PCOS as my badge of honor. I #ed all day “PCOS Awareness”, “PCOS Survivor”, “PCOS Warrior”….and so on and so on, you get the idea. I gave notice to PCOS Awareness Month and thought I was helping women with this condition. I realized over the last year, that I was simply shining a light on the disease and the condition at hand, rather than shining a light on our healer, the ONE who can give us hope and new mercies every morning. When I started speaking on these important topics, my heart was to point women back to GOD and not their pain.

Don’t get me wrong, do I think it’s great that people are starting to be more aware of the pain women go through when they experience pregnancy loss and/or infertility. Absolutely. It’s SO important for people to have compassion for other people, but even that is done when people truly are seeking God. I’m not sure an awareness day is going to force people to love and care for others. Jesus does that. Jesus guides us all to love one another. Scripture tells us that we are to celebrate when our brothers and sisters are celebrating AND GRIEVE when they are grieving. Even, the awareness in itself can and only will be done genuinely when or if the other person wants and chooses to grieve with you. There is no social media post that will force that.

Again, I’m on a journey of trying to decide how I feel about these awareness days and months. I’m not saying they are bad. I’m just saying, I’m not sure that they are something I want to point you or others to (at this time). God might change my heart on this topic and next year I might find myself doing as I normally do….. and shine a light on Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. I have no idea. I DO know when we are going through pregnancy loss grief or infertility, sometimes hearing stories helps. Or sometimes they hurt more. It’s truly a matter of where somebody is on their journey of healing.

At the end of the day, my heart is to point women to JESUS and not their pain. We can’t live in the pain. We must live in the HOPE!!! God is a good God and shining awareness on our diseases or conditions will never replace the goodness and love He has in our lives. The only thing we really need to be aware of is that He loves us and is with us. He is the only one we will ever really need to get us through the grief of losing a baby. And I say that from experience. I say that from looking around my first four pregnancy losses and not having a friend in sight… media posts didn’t bring friends in to rally around me as I grieved. It wasn’t until I started seeking first the Kingdom of God and surrounding myself around women of God, that I found the support and love my heart needed to get through life’s ups and downs. GOD did that, not social media…..and certainly not an awareness month.

I love each and every one of you and I pray you receive God’s love as you journey through the unknown of pregnancy loss and/or infertility. Your grief is welcome with the ONE TRUE GOD, your one true Heavenly Father, Jehovah.



Family, Grief

Sometimes It Takes…..

Sometimes it takes the flu slowing you down enough to realize you have neglected your sweet little blog……

Here I am friends! It’s been quite the minute since I’ve actually blogged! I would say I promise to get better, but I feel like I’ve said that SO many times…..and then life starts and I find myself going months and months (again) before I write. BUT, how about this…… I will TRY my hardest to not neglect this little space of the internet I get to call my sweet blog!?

A lot has happened the past few months. The pandemic has brought a lot of ups and downs for so many. I pray for our world and our country every day. At the end of it all, I hope that we will all learn to love more and complain less. I pray we stop taking so much for granted. In a blink of an eye, it can all change…..and I guess it did change, huh?! I sometimes wonder if things can or will ever be the same for our nation, for our world.

This year has brought a lot of loss for so many. One of the biggest and most heartbreaking updates in my life is that I lost my dad in June, and it has been a bumpy season of healing and moving forward. To anybody who has lost a parent, my heart goes out to you. The pain is real. I’ve learned a lot and my faith in my God has grown! He has shown Himself in so many ways. It’s hard to ignore the beauty of who He is in our lives, even in the midst of pain. I’m thankful for the people in my life who stepped up and stepped out to show their support and love. It is a beautiful thing when community comes together to show they care. THAT is what this world needs more of. Maybe one day I will write a blog post on the loss of my dad, but right now it’s just too fresh and I still don’t know how to put it all into words.

What I will talk about right now though (and to end this post with something positive and beautiful), is how amazing my dear friend Katelyn is. She has been a God send. I don’t tell her enough and I definitely don’t show it enough, but Katelyn, you are one of the greatest humans in my life! I’m thankful for you! Your support and love is something I value so much! Thank you Katelyn! You are a jewel in my life! I think about you every time I drink from my Jesus and Coffee mug you gifted me with!! I love it and I love YOU! Words can’t express how special you are to me and my little family!

Well, I think this is it for now. Sorry it’s such a short and sweet blog post. I’m a little tired and my meds are definitely kicking in! I hope to see y’all on here more! 🙂